Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Fake fashion gossip column and lobsters, because why not?

And also, another scrap I just found that I wrote I don't know when. Surrealism and the influence of Schiaparelli, lobsters on leashes and the liquid sleaze of old gossip columns come together in something entirely without purpose but also a little bit amusing (... at least to myself.)

Wallis Simpson by Cecil Beaton in the infamous 'Lobster Dress' by Schiaparelli.

In and on fashion – with C.C. Greene
There is a curious fad at work among the fashionable set in this jewel city. The well-heeled and those that aspire to be like them have taken to walking out with sea creatures affixed to their wrists by long leashes. 

The muse behind this no other than Madame Hortense Poncy, whose recent arrival from Paris caused quite the stir. Alighting from her private jet in a black silk opera coat with a pair of cat’s-eye pince-nez, she cut quite a dash from the outset not least because of the lobster, “Bobby”, which trailed from her elegant wrist at the length of a diamond-encrusted collier and leash. We have it on good authority that the collier is comprised of no less than thirty-six emerald cut baguettes claw-set in platinum. Created by Cartier especially for this coddled crustacean, it was designed especially to withstand the pressure of Bobby’s claws and the general wear and tear of rubbing against his flaming carapace.

No sooner had photographs of Madame Poncy and Bobby appeared in the society pages than raffish young men and society dames alike were sighted out and about with leashes of their own. We noted rising artist Derwent Kirkpatrick walking down the centre of Darlinghurst’s Stanley Street with a ribbon extending from each gloved fist, two glimmering goldfish keeping pace in the gutter as he strode by in creepers and a velvet-trimmed cordovan.  

On a slightly different note, Lady Alice Stevenson, formerly Miss Wagga and now the pride of Woollahra, appeared at last week’s Rojane Pearls 'Gems of the Sea' launch with live seahorses plaited among the South Sea shiners in her auburn curls. She intermittently sprayed them with Perrier to keep them alive, and the curling and uncurling of their tails made a charming accompaniment to her Madame GrĂ©s frock and lambskin sandals.  

Watch this space, Sydneysiders. Surely it can only be a matter of time before octopi leap off our plates and onto our hats and we hang live crabs from our earlobes!

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